Sunday, 13 September 2009

Why you should let cheesy horrors into your life... (For

Okay, so we’ve got a couple of horrors that the critics love to hate in the cinema at the moment – The Final Destination and Sorority Row. And we all know they’re terrible films based around pretty girls or thugs getting killed in the most hideous way. But they’re so bad they’re good.

They all use the same technique – Dark room, girl with no clothes on holding a huge blade, silence, loud bang, oh she’s dead. Right, so some who really dislike these movies need to open their minds a little. They’re fun at heart. In no other genre could you laugh at someone burning to death in a tanning machine than in one of these horrors. The acting is terrible, the camera shots are basic, but it takes us into this unthinkable world that dramatises everything. They’re like soaps but on a much gorier level.

And to be fair, these movies usually kick start an actor’s career. Anyone heard of Johnny Depp? Yep, his first film was A Nightmare on Elm Street. Brittany Snow, she was in Prom Night. Possibly one of the most predictable horrors about, but now she’s planned to do several films in the next 3 years.

They’re great, really. There’s no better way to spend an evening than to rent out a couple of these poor horrors and cringe away. Not at the blood, at the storyline! They’re not scary either, once you’ve seen a couple you begin to pick up the signs and start predicting who’s going to die next. It’s great for socialising.

As horrors frequently go main stream, a film genre of horror-comedy has arisen by them taking the techniques and manipulating them. One of the best scenes in Severance is where a huge spider is climbing up a girl’s back, she’s in a dark room, the tense music is going and then when she sees the spider, instead of screaming, she strokes it! Brilliant.

We’re even being given 3D horrors which explore a whole new realm of badness. So instead of shunning these cinematic creations, embrace them and let them live on! They’re all a bit of fun, and a hell of a lot funnier than some comedies around.

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