[Review] Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (3D)

You would think that after 3 films about a cheeky pirate, the plot couldn't really adapts itself much further, and your thoughts would be right. While this isn't a bad film, the storyline's just a bit mundane because we've seen everything before. It does, however, play a lot of focus to women, both human and otherwise which is very entertaining showing their competitive streak against the male domination of the previous films. Overall though, it's just Jack being Jack with a few extra lady-friends.

There's no denying the visual aspects of this film are incredible. Rob Marshall loves his spectacular shots, and as with this, they are definitely something to gaze at. The ridiculously big fight scenes are choreographed so well you can only get caught up in them, helpfully passing the time in this relatively long film. The scenery shots are not to be argued with either. We're given those gorgeous sweeping establishing shots that identify the enormity of this film, and bring with it that exciting element of location shooting giving the film it's proper pirate feel. The effects with water are also flawless. It almost looks real as the Fountain of Youth starts crawling up walls and surrounding various pirates.

However, because of the extremity in situation, the shots become cluttered. There's so much going on in each scene it becomes hard to focus on one element of the film, leaving you to be immersed in an intense action film which can be quite daunting, especially if you're wearing 3D glasses as that's even more claustrophobic. This combination of shouting, gun shots, sword fighting and quick cuts makes it quite a stressful experience to sit through. But obviously, as these films have progressed, their budget has got bigger, meaning these supreme fight scenes are about as dramatic and outrageously far-fetched as they can be.

The storyline just seems to progress effortlessly leading the pirates from A to B without any sort of disruption. There's no plank walking or discovery of new places. The characters know where they're going and what they need to do. Although this makes the plot easier to follow than the previous 2 films, the mystery element is gone, losing it's magic. Because we've become so accustomed to the settings, there's not really much else we can find exciting. The only thing that's good is that it sticks to what works for the films. It's got the loud and familiar soundtrack, the good humour and the brilliant locations.

A great bonus to this film is Penelope Cruz. She's sexy, charming and charismatic - A great rival to Jack. Having a lead like this makes up for the loss of Keira Knightley, and brings with it a whole new light to females. Mermaids, which also play a focal point to the story, are surprisingly scary. Forget pirates that are really ghosts, one kiss from these evil bitches and you're done for.  But, let's not forget why we all love (and apparently some hate) these films - Johnny Depp. He's everything you want him to be, but a little bit more tanned this time adding to his output of beauty. However, what's disappointing is that I think Geoffrey Rush has lost his bad guy appeal and become a commodity that brings all the films together - Controversial, I know.

So, how to sum my thoughts of this film? It's okay. If you enjoy the films you'll find it lightly entertaining, much like I did. The 3D element isn't necessary, as I find with most films. And there's also a short clip at the end. It doesn't add anything to the plot in my opinion, but if you're going to sit through the credits anyway, it's a nice way to end the film.

I wish I wrote him a letter...

The Tourist [Review]

Directed by: Florian Henckel Von Donnersmarck  (No Joke)


Starring: Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp


Released: December 2010




This is an odd one. The film is clearly suited for Angelina, showing a desirable love struck women on the mission to find her criminal partner, coming across all sorts of danger. But for Johnny, it's almost as if the role's a promotional part to hype up The Rum Diary and Pirates of the Caribbean 4. That's not to say he's bad; it's just a curious choice of film for such an actor who likes the quirky characters - Not a maths teachers who falls in love with a woman everyone else wants.  


As you can probably tell from the last sentence, this film is completely predictable. I mean, stupidly predictable. It comes across as cool, luxurious and dangerous, but really we guess the plot twist from about half an hour in and are bored of the 'lets not talk to each other and allow the silence to do the talking' theme running through this couple. The jokes are repeated too much and the lifestyle becomes more of a nuisance than anything else. 


It is a beautiful film though. Jolie is just magnificent to look at (from a straight, female perspective - You men must be drooling all over the place) and Johnny Depp is absolutely stunning. He's groomed about as much as he can be naturally, which (although not as sexy as Captain Jack), is pretty easy on the eyes. Having him as my teacher would have got me nowhere in Maths, not that I did anyway. Moving on... And the choice of setting in Venice works perfectly with the aura this film tries so hard to carry. 


The narrative is effectively entertaining for a mindless couple of hours. If you're willing to go in with a completely receptive frame of mind then there's no harm done. But going in expecting a performance of a life time with a real twist to the story will disappoint the hell out of you. I guess it's a play on a rom-com. They meet, there's a connection, there's a gangster that tries to kill them, there's a kiss - Done. 


The film is just so typical, that's the best way I can describe it. Even the cinematography doesn't provide the slightest possibility of excitement. You can sit and watch this film, come out and completely forget about it. There's no impact apart from the fact it's got two of the biggest stars in Hollywood starring in a mundane action/rom-com/gangster tale. Their relationship isn't desirable because it hasn't been set up right in the narrative. The situation that occurs is explained so bluntly that the mystery the characters have in their personalities becomes a bit ridiculous to watch. The very end shows the potential of a good story, where Angelina and Johnny's true colours are shown in an actual, real relationship. It's a shame the story got cut off then. All in all, it's pointless, to be honest. 


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Hey, it's funny that Depp is talking about repeating a joke and how annoying it is...